Genderless Child…I don’t think so!

I was somewhat surprised today as I was driving around to hear on the radio the presenter asking the public what their take was on a Canadian Couple who had chosen to raise their child genderless. I was completely baffled as to how it was physically possible to have a genderless child, and so when I got in this evening, I had to sit and have a look at the news online.

It always amazes me that people are so determined to change the shape of the world in which we live. Nature herself chooses to give every human being a gender, and trying to hide this from the world is something that still mystifies me. According to newspaper reports, the parents are apparently determined to allow their child to grow up without influences and biases based on gender issues.

So many things come to mind when considering this, that I am left wondering to a large extent not what the effect will be on the child, but what ever gave rise to the parents entering into such a bizarre decision in the first place. There has been considerable commentary through many various professional people that points to areas of concern in the development of the child, and others that say it will do not harm to the child at all. But no one seems to have asked the question, “Where does this crazy concept come from?”

Apparently the family already have children who have not been brought up in this fashion, so one has to wonder if it has something to do with the way their previous children have been brought up? Has something terrible happened to make them feel that bringing up a child that has no clue whether it’s male of female would be a good thing to do? Could there be some other explanation behind it, or is it just some weird trail to see what happens?

I have before been criticised for not having any understanding of how a parent feels about their child, and while I may well not have any children of my own, it does not mean that I have no concept over what is best practice and what is somewhat wayward. There is most certainly no guide book on how to bring up a child, and it’s very easy to get it all wrong, but I do essentially believe that there is a moral basis of responsibility to seek to provide the best for our children.

As an adult we make the choices that will affect our children’s lives far into the future, and yes I agree that in the early years gender is certainly not a major issue to the development of the child, but where is the logic in such an idea when it comes to interaction with a society that sees in gender terms. Children in their nature are cruel and harsh, as they have no idea of the emotional sensitivity that exists in their words. Without even realising it the world we live in may only complicate the life that the child leads by the things that the child’s peers say. Imagine trying to explain to another child in kinder garden that wants to know is Storm a boy or a girl that this child is neither!

I am not going to fall into the trap of predicting the future for Storm. In some ways I take my hat off to the parents for trying something new, however in this instance I not convinced that the choices have been made for the right reasons or in the long term interests of the child. For this child’s sake I hope that this adventure works out and he or she becomes a well balanced member of society. For societies sake, I would say perhaps gender issues are a fact of life, something that we are born with and something that is not always as simple or straightforward as ignoring who or what we are. Far too many people are already mixed up and have difficult lives over gender issues without going out of our way to potentially cause them. Nature does what it does best, and I personally feel that accepting this and living within the roles we are given is probably the best practice.

Two Choices – A Quandry of Life

I received this message in the form of an email this afternoon, and as I read it, it brought a tear to my eye. Its a strong message, a powerful theme and a dynamic quandy of mankind.

What would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?’

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first!

Run to first!’

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third!

Shay, run to third!’

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the ‘natural order of things.’

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Pass by and forget you’ve ever read this; or

2. Direct your friends to this page so they too may read and be touched.

May your day, be a Shay Day.

How Hard is Temptation?

This video is really cute and made me smile. It is a great example of how when we are presented with something and told we may get something better if we wait, how hard it is to not take what we already have and enjoy it then.  Also demonstrates our weakness of putting something right in front of our noses and told no. It’s a lot easier to not worry about eating a marshmallow if there is no marshmallow sitting right in front of your super sensitive nose!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Sometimes in these days of ASBO’s and youths in hoodies, we forget the humble innocence of childhood, and the precious comments that come out of children’s mouths. So I figured I’d put a few of my favourite quotes down for ya all to have a giggle at. What better way to start the day??? Enjoy.

It was Christmas time, and my son, 6, was learning the story of the Nativity. Who came to visit the baby Jesus in the manger? the teacher asked his Sunday School class. “The three wise guys,” my son blurted out. (I always wondered, Was he thinking of the Three Stooges?) — Diane Dew, Milw., Wis.

When my daughter, Brittany, was 4 or 5, she was having some “growing pains” in her legs and needed to take some Tylenol™. She had the bottle and was trying in vain to get it open while I changed her baby sister’s diaper. I saw her frustration and explained that it was a childproof cap and I would have to open it when I finished. Eyes wide with wonder, Brittany asked, “How does it know it’s me?”
— Barbie Buntz

My 2-year-old watched out the window as I was driving. Suddenly he got very upset, saying “Oh, they are really gonna get now! Oh, are they ever gonna get it now!” Seeing nothing remarkable happening outside, I asked my son, “Who’s gonna get it? What did they do?” Then, with all the seriousness of a 2-year-old, and pointing to the stream of vapor behind a plane in the sky, he explained, “The guy driving that plane up there! Look at that! He scratched the sky, everywhere he goes — and is God gonna ever be mad!”
— Diane Dew, Milw., Wis.

When Sara was 6, her new puppy became seriously ill, and the vet didn’t know if he could save it. I felt very bad for Sara, because this was her first pet and it had been a Christmas gift, so I said to her, “Don’t worry, precious; just remember, if Fluffy dies, we’ll see her in heaven.” Sara looked at me as if I were simple-minded and said, “Well, yes, Daddy, but heaven’s a long way off for me — I’m only six!” — Michael Huggins

My brother was placed in the remedial reading class in second grade. When my mom asked him how school was going one day, David replied, “I’m the smartest of the dumbest.” — Diane Dew, Milwaukee, Wis.

In the earlier days of television, before technology got sophisticated, network interruptions were more common. One day, when the black-and-white circular ‘bulls-eye’ symbol appeared on the screen with the words “Please Stand By,” my little sister went and stood by the TV set. After awhile, a family member asked what she was doing. A new reader, she proudly replied, “Following instructions. It said to please stand by it.” — Diane Dew, Milwaukee, Wis.

My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where my 5-year-old daughter Samantha was and asked her, “Notice anything different?” To which she replied, “No” with a puzzled look on her face. My husband then said to her, “My beard’s gone.” Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said “I didn’t take it!”
— Karen and Rich S., N.J.

When my daughter is trying to remember something, she says, “My head is trying to show it to me.”
— Jim Gore

One night I was babysitting my two grandchildren. We were out running errands and we decided to grab a bite to eat at home. Of course they wanted McDonalds which I don’t care for, so I also stopped at a fish place to pick me up a dinner. When we sat down to eat, the kids asked “what are those round things Nanna?” I said they are called “Hush Puppies”. So I gave them the hush puppies to eat from my meal. Later, when their mom arrived home, Cody ran to meet mom. She asked him what they had been doing. His response was ” We ate McDonalds and “Shut Up Dogs!” LYONSJANICE@ aol.com

One day my five year old informed me that she didn’t have to go to school to learn, because she could remember everything by talking a picture. She said she had a camera in her head she takes pictures with it to help her remember things. So I asked, “Then how is it you always seem to forget about picking up your toys?” She replied, “Sometimes I forget to put film in it.” — Vicky Barrons

Zimbabwe Teachers Network

It is a well known fact that Zimbabwe is a nation in dire need of resources, funding and international aid, but while a sceptical international community are understandably loath to give the Government of National Unity are additional funding while Robert Mugabe and the Zanu PF elect loiter in the wings, it falls at the feet of Zimbabweans around the world to make every effort to try and bring relief to the struggling Zimbabwean people.

This week it has been my pleasure to be introduced to a fellow Zimbabwean, who’s passion for her nation and irresolute desire to see Zimbabwe grow has lead her to launch an organisation aimed at providing the critical support to the teaching infrastructure in Zimbabwe that she hopes long term will help with improving the educational standards for students of the schools that Zimbabwe Teachers Network partners with in their endeavour to assist with Zimbabwean education. As the director of Safe Haven Trust it has been very rewarding to talk with Zimbabwean Teachers Network and explore the potential of a partnership to help the children of Zimbabwe.

Munashe Moyo-Godo is one of the most humble and forthright people you will ever meet. A teacher herself, her passion for education is deep routed, and from early in her upbringing she has always cherished learning as the cornerstone of her career. Now living in the UK and in a position to help with establishing a network of like minded Zimbabweans, support agencies, teachers and donors alike, Munashe has set about launching the Zimbabwe Teachers Network here in the UK. With its launch event a few weeks away, Munashe is at the root of a massive effort to bring the plight of teachers in Zimbabwe to the fore front of people attention and make every effort to provide support and funding for projects in Zimbabwe.

Education in Zimbabwe is in a shambles after the economy of the nation collapsed and the support structures for national education fell from beneath the feet of the Ministry of Education. Working with a budget of less than one tenth of what is really required, Education Minister David Coultard knows that without help the situation will only get worse. From being one of the most literate nations in Africa, barely 20% of the students in Zimbabwe today achieve an “O” level pass mark as thousands of children are trapped in the throes of hopelessness. The average school fees for a student attending a government facility range from US$15 to US$35 per term, a figure many families fail to raise leaving a vast number of children without access to education. Teachers earn as little as US$150 a month and must try to house, feed and transport themselves while remaining committed to providing an education to hundreds of students with little in the way of materials, support or incentive. It is any wonder that children anywhere in Zimbabwe are being educated at all.

Teachers have recently begun to return to the educational system in Zimbabwe under the hope that the GNU will bring about a change in the schooling system in the country, but frustrations and empty promises have meant many have taken to strike action and staying away furthering leading to a situation of desperation within the schools that are trying to stay open and offer children a chance. Teachers need support from sustainable sources, in both the provision of resources and fundamental ongoing training and provision of information in order to be effective, and provide a meaningful service to the educational system. The importance of education of tomorrows generation cannot be stressed enough, as these are the very people that carry the hopes and aspirations of a nation. Education lies at the very heart of civilisation and for this reason support must start from the roots in giving teachers a network of alliances and relief necessary to be the best that they can be.

Working on the principal that “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle,” (A James Keller quote) the Zimbabwe Teachers Network aim to provide support to teachers first and foremost. It is their desire to provide inspiration and the tools required to equip teachers with the ongoing skills of imparting noteworthy education to the children of Zimbabwe. They aspire to restock and create libraries and resource centres within schools, work in partnership with schools to ensure that their teachers are given a platform to exchange ideas and transfer skills between educators, teachers and students. The organisation hopes to encourage partnership through twining schools abroad with schools in Zimbabwe and giving teachers the opportunity to work on exchange programs that will continue to grow their skills and value as a teacher. Zimbabwe Teachers Network will also undertake research on sociological, psychological and philosophical issues affecting teaching and learning in Zimbabwe with a view towards improving the education that is offered both by the curriculum and teachers alike.

This hands on approach towards education in Zimbabwe will meet the needs of a nation hungry for help as it strives to pull itself into the 21^st century. It is heart-warming to see Zimbabweans at the very core of this endeavour and it is this realisation of Zimbabweans that the international community are not going to do it for them that has lead to leadership arising from many corners. It is the grim reality that faces Zimbabweans in every facet of life daily. A nation on the edge, being held together by the determination and effort of those who are lucky enough to live abroad pouring back millions of dollars in personal finances that keep the country afloat. Much of Zimbabwe relies on the efforts of its people living in the Diaspora to survive while its leaders milk the country dry of its natural resource and international aid. While it is heart warming to see such commitment and drive, it is without our help that this nation and its people survive. Wonder then if you will how much more could be achieved by such organisations with a little help from the rest of us. We are all living through tough times, but the reality for us is that we can afford to miss £5 a month to support such an effort and still live a life of comfort and ease, while reality for Zimbabweans is that without our support they will go completely without.

My challenge to you today is to search your heart and find it within yourself to not allow people with so much soul, grit and determination not to fight on alone. I challenge each of you reading this post today to find it within yourself to put your money where your mouth is and pledge your support to the type of organisation that you know will change people’s lives right now. Safe Haven Trust and Zimbabwe Teachers Network are just two of the groups that you could support, groups that will be able to make a difference right now, and groups that really do need your help to survive. Make a difference today.

ZIMBABWE TEACHERS NETWORK
SAFE HAVEN TRUST

A world without Risk is a Dangerous Place.

I sat earlier this week watching a program on television about the Marsden family. It was a heart wrenching account of a family torn apart by the death of their baby son only 2 years of age, who was taken from them in a tragic accident. All it took was a moment of time to lose sight of the toddler, a second to lapse into a panic driven hunt that lead to the discovery ten minutes later of the boy’s body in a pond close to where he’d started his misadventure.

I felt the burden that these parents had been forced to carry, and the guilt that they will always bare no matter what the circumstances or findings of any coroner, panel or magistrate, judge or jury. There is no easy answer that can heal the pain, nor is there any sense of time that’ll ever change that wish that circumstances were different. It was clear to see how the family had been affected by the tragedy within their unit and it was also clear that in their minds eye they needed to do something to fulfil their desire to show that their son didn’t die in vain, that through his passing maybe something could be done to safe guard other children.

The Marsden family have been campaigning for a change in the law to better protect children from the hazards of ponds. As I watched the program, I was moved by the feeling of tragedy that had befallen the family, but the fact of life is that tragedy befalls all of us daily throughout life. Sometimes it is out of nature that we have to die and we as those left behind have to find a way to deal with the hurt that this specific gap left by one’s passing has left in our lives. Other times the passing is not so easy to put down to nature and becomes even harder as we’ve had no time to prepare ourselves for the sudden loss. As I pondered this I became aware that we all have to guard ourselves against the eventuality of having to deal with the pain of death.

So does this mean that we need to prepare ourselves through the changing of the law? I began to look at some statistics. In the next two or three paragraphs some of the grim realities of life on earth are laid out in one place to think about. Some of the worst of our world I present for you to consider.

The World Health Organisation tell us that over 400 people a day die as a result of AIDS related illnesses daily in Harare, Zimbabwe. There is a violent crime every 13 seconds in the Capital city of South Africa, and a death associated to a gun crime every 30 minutes around the world. Someone dies every 5 seconds in the developing world from famine related illness according to the World Food Program, while the first world produces more grain to be turned into fuel than the entire third world could ever require in a year.

Since the beginning of the 21^st century war has claimed the life of 466 people daily when you spread the death toll of all 125 major conflicts of the 21^st century across the 365,250 days of the century. In a paper produced looking at the factors affecting youth deaths from 0 – 18 years across a year, in 1990 in the USA 17.3% of all deaths were attributed to Vehicle accidents and 14.4% to various other deaths, making accidental death the major attributor to youth deaths in that year. Yet swing the tables to a third world country and the WHO will tell you that 66% of child deaths in Southern Africa can be attributed to AIDS. In India and China, the two biggest populations on earth, child mortality has reduced by 30% in the last 15 years, yet 4,6 million children still died before the age of one in both China and India last year.

Finally if we begin to actually take a look at deaths by age, the top three causes of youth death are as follows: in children from 0 – 1 years of age, the top three are Developmental or Genetic Conditions, SIDS or Premature Birth Issues. In children from 1 – 4 years of age the top three are Accidents, Developmental or Genetic Conditions or Cancer. From 5 to 15 years of age the biggest killers are Accidents, Cancer and Homicide. And lastly the 15 to 24 age group follow a top three trend of Accidental Death, Homicide and Suicide. The largest number of deaths in any society befall the 15-24 year old age group, the largest attributor being motor vehicle accident in this age group.

I recently saw a video produced by the South Wales Police Force to be used as one of the most vividly dramatic ways of warning about the dangers of using a mobile/cell phone while driving. It left me feeling quite ill for two reasons. Firstly, I’ve been guilty of using my phone to text before while behind a wheel, and secondly to watch three lives get snuffed out, one that of a toddler strapped in its baby seat was a toughly sickening and mind numbing thing to do. Death is not something to smirk at or make look appealing in dramatic fashion through the movies.

The main reason for presenting so many facts and figures around death and tragedy came from my desire to try discover how many children are killed each year through accidental death. In my mind’s eye, since time began a child on a mission to discover is probably the most open to danger at that one stage of his or her life than at any other time. Yet it would seem that statistically this is not true, and we find that illness and various other factors associated with growing up present more of a risk. While yes statistics show that children do die from accidental causes, are we able to prevent them having an inherently explorative nature? Will a fence any height really prevent a determined young child from falling into a pond full of water while chasing the ducks?

Don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate the impact that the loss of a child on a family. If there is one thing that we hope for our children it is that they have a long and fruitful life, and when that is abruptly cut short we are left with so many questions, feelings of guilt and an empty hollowness that never fully repairs itself. Yet we all feel the effects of tragedy as it is estimated that over 50 million people pass on each year. So why then is it that when a child dies we become so in sensed with a desire to do something to change the status quo?

A large proportion of that energy is guilt. The guilt that we were not able to do anything, the guilt that we were not there, the guilt that we failed in our duty to protect our child, the guilt in that someone we cherished died alone when they most needed us. This factor drives us to see that no other human ever need to go through the pain and suffering that we are going through. Personally I also feel that if we are blatantly honest with ourselves it’s because it’s a very lonely world to shoulder all that guilt alone, and very often we look for a way to halve the burden we carry. The sad reality is that even when you find that your able to maybe make a change in the law that the pain continues, and the burden does not go away.

Life is a cruel and wicked curved ball that deals both joy and hurt, and more often than not it is not dealt in equal proportion. The happiness of the things we take for granted in life can so quickly be snatched away from us and in most circumstances we are not in any position to deal with the thoughts and feelings that besiege us in that most emotional of times. We spiral into a deep and closed depression while we struggle to deal with our feelings. I began to wonder if as a society we should not maybe begin to look at ways of educating ourselves to deal with emotion. Ways to prepare for such traumatic events in our lives and thus be better equipped to deal with the rapid flood of emotion when it comes.

One of the most troubling facts that emerged while I was doing my research for this post, was the number of deaths among young people that are attributed to suicide. It is the fourth biggest killer right across the board in child age ranges, and according to the WHO there is a suicide attempt every 3 seconds with a death caused by suicide ever 40 seconds. Statistics from seven European nations, Canada, the US, Australia and New Zealand show that suicide accounts for 23% of all deaths in children over the age of 10. 10 years old! It beggars belief that a child the tender age of 10 would contemplate taking its life.

The highest levels of suicide are found in India or China, while in Europe it is Eastern Europe that suffers with the highest rate in teenage suicide. In a recent survey carried out in the Sates, 10,000 young people ranging in age from 12 to 19 were surveyed and it was alarming to find that 60% of those surveyed said they had thought about suicide. In cases of child depression the leading pointer for suicide were situations where children were unable to deal with the death of a family member, the breakup of a relationship or feelings or fears associated with being gay. It was alarming to find that most teenagers believe that if they do not get into the right college of university then they will be regarded as a failure by their peers and the world at large, and a large number were bitterly affected by family divorce and financial issues in the home.

Is this not a pointer at how ill equipped we are as human beings to deal with emotions and the hurts and ups and downs of life. This curve ball that we travel along in life is our only chance, and how well we equip ourselves will greatly change how well we apply what we know to getting that perfect strike. We spend anywhere up to 15 years educating ourselves, very often with subjects and knowledge we’ll never use again in life. I can most assuredly say that I have never used the sign or cosign rule since I left school, and have never had to use the theory of osmosis in my daily life. Yes undoubtedly it is useful to know while you are preparing to choose what direction you wish your life to take, but surely it is just as important to prepare yourself responsibly for the journey ahead? You don’t go camping without learning about the area you plan to camp in, packing a bag with a tent, some food and the necessary items required to make your camping expedition a success and enjoyable adventure. Why then do we set out on life not really prepared for things we know we are going to come across?

I really don’t believe that it is right to wrap children up in cotton wool and legislate to protect them against everything. It is a big bad world we live in, but it is one that we have to learn to become tough in, and there is a part of taking risk and living on the edge that allows us to learn what is right and wrong and what will hurt us and what will not. Unfortunately in such a densely populated part of the world there are a whole world of risks from other people that make it difficult to allow our children to grow up in the same way we did, but in as much as is possible I think life will always be cruel to some and kind to others. Throughout the walk of life we have taken away so many of the freedoms that children need to become well balanced and equipped to survive in a world of hugely intense pressures and demands on them as people and part of the society within which we live. By taking away the skills they learn from seeing the hurt others go through when a friend close to them dies, by removing them from the emotive realities of tragedy and by trying to over protect them we take from them the chances that they do have to learn some of the things that we need to learn as humans. So while it is hard to face and try to deal with a tragedy that so many of us face, maybe there is something that we all learn by watching others go through these things, and just maybe without realising it your loved one’s passing has served a purpose you never even considered.

Don’t find fault, Find a remedy – Henry Ford

I have recently tried to associate myself with positive things. A desire to be more positive about the world and a willingness to be more willing to see the good in every situation. In my search of inspiration i came across Inspiration Magazine. An online magazine that tells the stories of some pretty amazing people, and stories that pick you up. I truly believe that in order to be positive you need to surround yourself with positive things. It is very easy to become disillusioned in the world we live by focusing on the daily bombardment of negative images, news, stories and general goings on. The press and media on the whole love to tell us about how bad things are around the world. Hostages being killed in Iraq, protests in Iran, corruption in parliament in the UK, F1 racing in turmoil over greed, teenager arrested after beating an MP, Tributes to a dead British soldier, Setanta goes bust. And that’s just reading off the BBC news front page.

I have to admit having read the story about the teenager beating a local MP I had a little chuckle to myself. I am always amazed at how easily the government are willing to sweep yob rule under the carpet and fail to face it head on. Maybe a good clobbering of a couple of MP’s would wake them up to the reality of the problems that their constituents face daily living in today’s Britain. In finding a solution to the problem MP’s and society as a whole are constantly brought back to the reality that without morals, without adequate discipline and without a proper upbringing children left to their own devices are going to go off the rails. The solution to the problem lies in creating a strong sense of family once more in Britain. We need to learn again how to discipline our children. Political interference in the role of parenting has ruined our country. I do not endorse thrashing a child black and blue, but I was given a hiding when I was naughty as a kid and it never damaged me. Could you imagine telling the army they could not discipline their cadets? Well if the army can do it then so should a parent. After all it is in the tender years that a kid learns right from wrong, and negotiating with a child is ridiculous when the child has no concept of negotiation. Lets be realistic. There are as many different approaches for discipline as there are individuals. What works for one is not always going to work for another. Some kids are strong willed and need a firm hand to guide them. Instead in Britain today, parents faced with difficult children would much rather just give up and let them roam the streets than be bothered taking real responsibility for them. Why? Because it is easier to let the state deal with them and avoid a criminal record than to try to take action. We seem to be happier letting a stranger at school teach our children the important fundamentals of life and then wonder why they won’t talk to us, nor have any respect for us when we suddenly try to step in. It is through a real love for your children and a absolute desire to see them receive the best in life that you take the hard decisions to keep them close, discipline them out of love not anger, coach them out of joy not obligation and love them unconditionally not when it suits you most. I would suggest a possible solution of introducing National Service. It’d make gentlemen out of a whole lot of yobs.

But I fear I digress from the initial reason I began this blog today. As I was saying I came across this magazine and I have found its contents to be both encouraging and inspiring. Life is hard. No one promised us it would be easy. And it is hard for us all in different ways. Sometimes when we hear about other peoples hardships we are humbled and inspired to be better people, and the more I hear or read the more I want to read, as I have found a real desire to want to become a better person. Inspiration Magazine tells the story of people that have come from hard walks of life and made a life for themselves. They are people who took the world by the horns and changed it for their own benefit. They gave up on waiting for life to make things easier for them and learned to do it on their own.

There is a great saying on the rear cover of the magazine. It has an image of the word Give on a piece of cardboard. They kind of sign you might expect a beggar to use. It goes on to say. Give – Verb – To present voluntarily and without expecting compensation; This magazine is a gift to you. Give it to someone and let them be inspired by your giving. When someone on the street asks you for some change, just be glad that you are not the one asking. How poignant that is. It cannot help but provoke an emotion within you.

I also came across a website called Make Your Mark. It has the success stories of many individuals. And yes once again I take heart from reading about people that have learnt that they are not the failures that society expect them to be. They are real people with ideas, hopes, dreams and a slightly differnt attitude to the world at large. They have a determination to prove the world wrong. A desire to set the record straight and a willingness to do whatever it takes to make a success of themselves. eg…

Fire Stead left school at 16 with no qualifications, unsure of what to do with his future. Now he finds himself in back in schools every week – running a successful dance business and building pupils’ fitness and social skills through salsa!

Fire is profoundly dyslexic and left school unable to read and write, his teachers predicting he would end up on the dole or in prison. They couldn’t have been more wrong: now nearly 50, Fire is running his own hugely successful dance education company, I Love Salsa.  He was even chosen as one of five inspirational people to feature in a short promotional film for the 2012 Olympics.

Dance classes have long been a fitness trend for adults, but it took a figurehead as dynamic and charismatic as Fire Stead to introduce dance to schools. Some head teachers weren’t convinced that pupils, particularly boys, would be interested in learning dance steps. In fact, the classes have been universally popular. The energetic dances keep the pupils fit; memorising the steps improves their concentration; and dancing with partners has helped has helped pupils to integrate and develop their social skills.

Fire has also been responsible for developing the first ever internationally recognised qualification in teaching salsa dance, the the I Love Salsa Edexcel BTEC.

Fire thinks persistence is the most important quality if you want to bring an idea to life. “My biggest barrier initially was just getting people to listen,” he says. “I am a great believer in always knocking on doors until someone listens.”

I guess the moral of the story is that we all attain our own personal success through perseverance and determination. How we come about to reaching that point in life is individual to each of us, but there is very defiantly one thing that we all need. A positive attitude. By being positive we have a chance to achieve all we desire, and to be positive is a state of mind that takes determination and hard work. And that is wehre we need people around us that are poisitive people. People that lift us up and help us achieve all we can, not thost that pull us down.