The Value of True Friendship

This is a funny old world in terms of friendships, relationships and how we interact with people. I have found over time that my outlook on life, and how I value my friendships has changed so remarkably in the last few years, maybe as a result of doing a bit of growing up myself.

Traditionally I have always been terrified that allowing myself to ‘grow up’ or become more mature would make me boring. I guess in my limited view on the world, once you got to thirty or something, you automatically became old fashioned, boring or too sophisticated to have fun.

Well I’m thirty nine now, so been in my thirties for quite a while, and I’ve come to realise that being thirty does not make me any less weird or crazy than I really ever was. The biggest change is that my body can’t keep up with what my mind wants to do, and as a result I am frequently at an internal battle to get more out of myself.

Another thing that I have come to realise is that once you get over that hurdle of accepting that age is not the be all and end all of life, you actually begin to realise that older people are indeed a lot more fun than I’d ever given them credit for. Yes they have so much more life experience and are more willing to er on the side of caution, but this is not because of boredom  it is more to do with them wanting to help us avoid pain or hurt in the long run, or simply avoid it for themselves.

We don’t give the older generation the consideration or credit they deserve sometimes, and I have been massively guilty of this in my time. It is sad to think that it has taken all this time for me to realise this. I have written a couple of times on my blog about age and how the golden glow of youth is so treasured and sort after, and I think that much of the world chases after that image of perfection and eternal youth. I know that personally I never really wanted to grow up. Foolishly, I always wanted to consider myself young at heart, and I figured that this meant being young in life, but sadly I have grown up, and aged and gotten older and wiser. I now realise that I can remain young at heart without having to associate with the young, and still be able to enjoy myself without the fixation on youth.

As a matter of fact, I am beginning to learn that without the fickleness of the young, relationships, friendships and communication is a whole lot simpler, more sustainable, and has a loyalty and stability that I am wholly unaccustomed too. Friendships up to date have existed around a bristle of selfishness, uncertainty and an egotistical climb to the top of the ladder. Don’t get me wrong, friendship is friendship, and I have wonderful memories, and some amazing mates, but I do believe that while most friendships have a certain degree of selflessness, and an awful lot of selfishness, there comes a time in your life when this balance swings in the opposite direction, and you begin to realise just how important and precious friendship really is.

We all use these words; “I love my friends, I couldn’t live without them!” Yup, even I have been one to say something similar. “You can never have enough friends!” The cliché statements about friendship are endless, and while there is some truth in the words, the majority of it is a hollow expression of what we want the world to believe we mean, but fail to act out. As I reflect on friendships I’ve had in the past, I can’t help but face the fact that I’ve been guilty of failing to be a true friend. I’ve always had a selfish streak, expecting people to stay in touch with me, always chasing the next big fix, forgetting about the people that maybe need a quiet word, or a simple hello. The worst thing is realising that there were people who were that kind of friend to me, and have fallen by the wayside as I surged onwards on my selfish quest for self fulfilment or something I never really found.

Oh how the benefit of hindsight is a curse. Hindsight is a wonderful teacher, and if we heed the lesson, and we can change. Yes I have waisted some cherished friendships. People who have moved on, yet at one time or another were right there at my side, and while I may never get that back again, I can learn to shift the balance towards being a true friend myself. As you grow up in life, you begin to understand that the world does not revolve around you. There are those that are delusional enough to believe this still, and for them I feel sorry, but for the vast majority of us, at some stage in our lives, we wake up to the fact that we need to give more than we receive to survive. This is the balance of true friendship.

For some, they will learn this lesson very quickly. Others, like myself, will take a while to get it. Whatever the time line, we all come to the realisation one day that we are not islands in the world. I see those that think they can survive on their own terms, and revel in their selfishness, and while I do not despise them, I only see myself in them, and realise that at some stage in the future, they will come to the hard realisation that their point of view, selfishness, and deluded understanding of true friendship is skewed.

So while in my past I have been foolish, I have come to learn that friendship can be very satisfying with people from every walk in life. I have met and continue to meet amazing people in my life and slowly I am learning so much about life, myself, and the world around me. The people I am lucky enough to consider my friends are teaching me that sharing is a wonderful thing, that life has many facets, and that learning to accept who I am and what I am to the people that see me, is all part of being alive. There is true value in a strong relationship, and not every friendship is based on some form of attraction. There are many assets in the people around us, and each has their own special gem, a quality that makes them stand out from the crowd. It is taking time to see beyond what I need from a relationship that has allowed me to realise that I have so much to give. I can be a good friend, I can share, I can make a difference with a simple hello, or a kind word spoken on a bad day. To those that have taken the time to befriend me and show, teach and encourage me, thank you. You will never truly know the full impact you have had on my life, and continue to have every day.

Thought for today – “Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it is broken, but you will always see the crack in its reflection.” – Lady Gaga

Song for today – Here In Your Arms by Hellogoodbye  

Even Natural Disasters have a Class System in Modern Society.

We are so eager to prove to each other and show in government and society as a whole that Class systems are a thing of the past in our modern age? Yet I was moved today while listening to a BBC presenter reading out emails from people who know of or have loved ones stuck in some horrendous conditions in the earth quake hit city of Christchurch on the south Island of New Zealand. While I was sitting listening to the difficulties and hardships that so many people are still living through several weeks after the quake devastated the city, I had to ask myself where is the international arm of assistance? Where are the Disaster Emergency Committee’s appeals? Where are the international rescue teams, and more over why are we quite happy to sit back and do nothing about it?

It troubles me that in today’s day and age, in the middle of humanitarian crisis around our world there is a clear cut gauge used in response to a natural disaster. I would like an explanation as to how the nations and governments of the world decide who is deserved of international crisis aid and who is not. I have not once heard the British Prime Minister stand up before parliament or our nation and declare and emergency response to the devastation caused by the 22nd February 2011 earthquake.

Does this mean that the residents of Christchurch are any less deserving of our support and aid as an international community? Does it mean that we consider the population of New Zealand to be of a class non deserving of our help at a time of great need? Who is it that makes these decisions, and how is it that if such a disaster were to happen in a third world nation, our outcry would be instant and immediate? Yet when such a disaster hits a first world nation we all sit back and say well just let them get on with it on their own.

I’ve sat and watched the television as millions of pounds are spent around the world helping those who have gone through devastation of one nature or another, and while I do not begrudge the aid that these people receive, for it is clearly needed, but I do however have issue with the way that we choose which crisis we will endeavour to support and which we will ignore.

It irritates me that when a White run government is in power in a fairly stable and economically productive country in the world it is automatically deemed that in the event of a natural disaster that the country is capable and has means and the ability to deal with the unfolding scale of the human tragedy by itself. A perfect example of this was the crisis that befell the citizens of New Orleans as Hurricane Katrina obliterated their city. In the wake of one of the most devastating hurricanes of the last 25 years, the world sat back and watched as hundreds of thousands of people were left to fend for themselves. I remember being struck by anger at that time at how lethargic the world were to pull their hands out their pockets and send assistance to a community caught up in the horrors of surviving a natural disaster.

America is one of the most giving nations on our planet, and if it were not for the USA, which so many of us choose to hate, we would see millions of people in worse of conditions than they find themselves today. They are not perfect, but they sure know what the word charity means, and I am sick and tired of watching nation after nation holding out its begging plate to a nation that its very own people have no respect for, and would choose gladly to go to war with expecting to receive US Aid, food, medical supplies and infrastructural support. Yet when the Americans needed us, where were we?

And now once again I see the exact same thing befalling the citizens of Christchurch, New Zealand. Not one of our reporters has visited the city to tell the story of the devastation and hardships that its people have experienced. ITV TV, one of what I consider to be the better British news channels clearly has its priorities all wrong, as when the Haitian earthquake hit in 2010, reporter were camped on the streets to tell of the hardships of the local people. We saw film footage of the power of nature and the effects it has on people as rescuers fought to save victims caught in the rubble. We visited camps and were shown the difficulties of feeding the people, the sanitation problems and the woes of those who had little access to the simplest of things like water.

Yet are these not the same difficulties facing the victims of the Christchurch earth quake? I listened to narration of people letting two, three and four families stay in houses built to house one. I heard talk of the lack of power, sanitation and running water through much of the city three weeks on from the disaster. I heard tails of the difficulties of getting supplies and survival, while families wait to find out if their homes are safe to return to or need to be demolished. This is very much in my opinion news worthy material, that our news teams just have no interest in covering, as it is more sensational to show us film footage from five days ago that they shot in Libya as they choose to cover a civil war in a war torn part of Africa.

I guess there is nothing wrong with telling us about the efforts of the rebels to overthrow an evil dictatorship, I just feel that there is an issue here, as judgement clouds the eyes, brains and human affiliations to people who are just as credible and deserved of our attention and support. I strongly believe that if the New Zealand government had been a native Maori government would we be more active in putting foreign aid their way, and doing more to cover the issues affecting the people of a native New Zealand. In today’s day and age to be able to even think such things is incredible, as our world is affected by a great many manmade crisis’s, but when it comes to nature, it does not choose colour, creed, nationality, rich or poor. It randomly strikes out and takes loved ones from every race and family. Choosing to leave others to struggle on in the wake of the weight of survival and the guilt of being left behind, but also to deal with the clean up and process of getting on in life.

In this modern world, in this day and age, class systems should not exist when it comes to human suffering. It is wrong for nations, governments, organisations, you and me to turn a blind eye when disaster hits a part of the world we consider to be richer than other places. Every disaster is a tragedy and deserves our attention, support, charity and assistance. Lets strive to be better people and learn that alone we are pathetic, weak and at the mercies of mother nature. Yet together we can learn to make life better, to help and support one another through pain, hurt and loss. Together we can make tomorrow a better place where the woes of today are carried on equal yokes, shared and carried together. Helping your brother does not mean helping those you only choose deserve your help. It means helping even those that maybe you dislike, hate or feel are less deserving of your time and effort.

I don’t care what religion you are from, even if you’re a pagan, you know it is right to help those in times of need. Your god, allah, spiritual force or whatever it is that you believe does not teach us to be selfish and full of hate. It does not teach us that we are better than one another. True humility is to respect your own humanity and realise that you are just as vulnerable and needy as anyone else around you. This class driven society in which we live is foolish and sets us up to look like hypocrites. I personally don’t wish to be known as that kind of person. My time and effort is there to help anyone I am able and to call to each and every one of you that read this to strive to do the same. Don’t bring shame on yourself by your actions, rather be meek and strive to be all you can to everyone you can.

A Week I’m Learning to Forget

There are days and weeks where we just don’t want to face the world. Days when we feel that it’s all a bit too much to handle, all a bit too much to deal with. Sometimes we are confronted by so many things of a negative influence in our lives that we just can’t seem to see through the gloom and depression that goes with all the bad news around us.

Well the last week has been pretty much one of those for me. After having to deal with a second break in within a month at our place of business, I also had to deal with a personal blow, when someone I trusted ended up letting me down seriously. It’s at times like these that I stop sometimes and just want to lock myself away and forget that a world outside of the safety of my own environment exists. I’m sure that if your reading this that you can relate to how I feel, and it’s in times like this that sharing and writing are perhaps the hardest. Personally I’ve never been a big talker about the things that hurt me, and the issues that leave me feeling vulnerable and depressed. Its often easier to just bottle up these feelings and show the world a happy go lucky face that attempts to hide the pain.

I’ve learnt over time however, that no matter how hard it is to hide your feelings you never really succeed in keeping them locked away. The pressure that you place on yourself through this action of denial that anything is wrong means that the burden you carry causes a twist in your character that comes out as anger or frustration. The act of locking away your disappointments and emotions means that you are running on full, with little or no space to be able to cope with and address the issues that confront you daily through life. Yet it is also one of the hardest habits to break. It is too easy to just clamp down and close out the world around us.

I admire people that are confident and have little fear of rejection and disappointment. They are rich in character and have an astonishing ability to bounce back from all kinds of setbacks that life kicks their way. I’ve spent many a day wondering what it is that gives people that ability to recover from a personal train smash in such a remarkable and seemingly unaffected way. Again however, time has taught me that we are all different and deal with issues in different ways. The perception that someone is capable of dealing with emotional scars more effectively than say you or I does not mean that they have dealt with the issue at all. In fact I’d be quite bold as to hazard a guess that the reality is that people who may fall into this section of society have only learnt to become better actors than you or I.

Happiness is a state of mind that is nurtured through concentrating on the good in life. To be truly happy is to be free of worry, free of stress, free of time, free of pressure, free of concern and most importantly free of responsibility. Personally I believe that we experience true happiness once in our lives, and that is when we are children without knowledge, fear, boundaries or responsibility. As we grow up and learn things, pay attention to the world around us, become entwined in complex relationships and take on responsibilities, it becomes harder and harder to experience sustained true happiness. The simple pressures associated with survival, working, earning, on their own mean we are continually bombarded with factors that tug at us emotionally, let alone when we enter into relationships, business, or take on the responsibilities of becoming a parent.

You cannot deny today that most people get little time out to relax and enjoy what we have achieved. We arrive home to yet more chores, after having worked an eight hour day, find that by the time we’ve cooked, cleaned and prepared ourselves for bed, we are ready to fall into it. Far too often we stretch the time we are awake, maybe to watch a movie, spend a little time together, work out and argument, or just unwind from the stress of our day. The impact of this means that the reduced time we give our bodies to rest, leaves us feeling tired, unfulfilled and restless.

Conducive to happiness? I would suggest not.

So how do we really gain that equilibrium in life? How do we skilfully ensure that we give ourselves the time we deserve to make sure that we are happy in as much as we can be?

Firstly I’d suggest that we need to realise that we live in a big bad world. This is a selfish place, and we are living in a society that is very much trained to get all it can for itself, as easily as it can, as fast as it can, while it can. This is a dog eat dog world, and accepting that in most cases we are at risk of being eaten, beaten or given a rough ride along the way by people we may trust, respect or consider our friends will prepare us for being let down at some time in the future.

Secondly, I’d very much suggest that we need to be realistic with ourselves. Don’t be so gullible. Don’t be so willing to be the one taking all the risk. Be careful in what you commit yourself too, and take care that what you do is for your own best interests. Remember that you really must look out for yourself. Know what makes you happy, and understand what you are able, capable and incapable of doing. Be challenged to excel, but do not set yourself up to burn out along the way.

Thirdly, choose your invested relationships carefully. The biblical principal of judging a person as a tree, by the fruits he bears is a fundamental lesson for all of us. Someone that consistently lets you down is not going to change. Someone that thinks only of themselves is pretty much going to always be selfish. These are characteristics that you can see and gain quick understanding of. Limiting yourself to the amount of emotional hurt and disappointment you go through will help in maintaining a balance on the scales.

But in saying all of these things, I’d suggest that the most important of all of these is no four. Develop a close and binding dedication to living. It is good to prepare yourself for the world in which we live, but don’t allow that preparation prevent you from living. Understanding that you will be let down in life, and realising that it’s a human trait means your better able to move on through that experience when it does happen, but more importantly also allows you to understand that you too are going to let someone down at some point. It is the way life works. Choosing our friends carefully will protect us from disappointment, but it will also make us more aware of how we act towards and treat other people.

In all things, do unto others as you would have them do unto you! Again a biblical principal that clearly sets out how we can learn to be better people. Jesus was no fool, and he totally understood that as men we are not perfect, but he took time to tell us how we could better our lives and seek happiness and fulfilment.

Yes when we are down and the world around us has dealt us a blow, it’s ok to feel depressed and disappointed. It’s quite alright to be angry and frustrated. Just don’t let it consume you. Don’t lock it away to quietly eat away and breed resentment and contempt. Learn to forgive, forget and get on with your life, and you’ll find that it’s easier to leave some of the pressures and concerns of the world behind and enjoy the things that are good in our lives.

Could you love an Ex Offender?

Tell me, who loves the rehabilitated offender in society today? I was stunned into silence today when I watched the highly charged, emotional roller coaster that is the film Boy A.

Telling the story of a young man that has come through the criminal justice system for a mistake he made in his early childhood, the film takes you through a few weeks in the life of this young individual as he comes to terms with his freedom, learns to live with the guilt he feels and faces the society that wants to hate the villain they don’t know is in their midst.

The film opens up so many questions its quite brilliant. The acting is totally amazing as you are drawn into a compelling relationship with the ex offender that leaves you wanting to reach out and heal his hurt. How very wrong it is to simply judge and assume we know the full story about someone’s life when it comes to having to sit in judgement of their past, their present and their future.

A young man tortured by bullies, hurting by the pain of watching his mother dying of cancer and isolated by a father that hides in a bottle, falls under the spell of a strong, independently minded young lad who has the balls to stand up to the bullies and the world around him. It’s a classic case of one young lad who’s being abused in a totally different way reaching out to another young lad that is seem as odd and different by the socialites of the schooling system and finding acceptance, friendship and companionship.

Does that make what they do any less terrible or horrific? No it most certainly does not. But we are all human, and as impressionable young people we often get caught up in the whirl wind of loyalty and hero worship that overtakes us as young people. How often can you say that as a young person you idolised him or her for the way he or she looked, treated you, trusted you, lead you. Would you go up the path of right and wrong with that individual? Hell yes. I know I’ve done it. Even now I find that I can get it wrong when I form conclusions about people.

Ok yes I don’t go out killing people because I couldn’t get on in life or work my way through difficulties, but sometimes we are not the doer, but guilty by association. The truth of the matter is that the film never gives us an insight into the guilt of either child in the murder as it happens, but we do get a fairly good idea from the lead up and circumstances as to who did what, when.

So yes, the young chap serves his time, and if the film is anything to go by becomes a model citizen. Under the leadership and guidance of a committed youth worker, freedom is born again in the life of a new identity, and “Jack” learns that life isn’t all bad. In the few weeks from the time of his release to the time of his eventual suicide, we follow a humble, grateful and remarkable journey of friendship, love, deliverance and mystery.

We never quite know what happens to the other boy in the incident, other than that he is found hanging. Vigilante group? Jack certainly believes so. Or simply the weight of guilt of what he’s done. Whatever the reason, the death of his closest friend in life to that date, haunts our young ex offender. He dreams about it all constantly, but is that not part of what we get as participants of crime? A life of recollections and memories that haunt the guilty just as much as those left behind?

Hell I know I’ve sat in judgement of the killers of Jamie Bulger. I know I’ve said some pretty grim things about the lads who could torture, degrade and slaughter such a beautiful little boy. I know I’ve sat watching his mother speak with tears running down my face, clearly feeling her pain through a television screen. I have a sneaky suspicion that this movie was in many ways based on this story but maybe told from another side. What happens to the hated of society when they get free?

No one likes an ex con. Once a thief, always a thief I’ve heard said so many times. Yes I do believe that the criminal justice system teaches you to be a better crook. I think that prison is just a learning centre for hardened criminals to recruit and train the next generation of toughened criminals. It’s a problem that is endemic with the overcrowding of hard core criminals with vulnerable, young, green offenders who are desperate to fit in and feel safe. But I also strongly believe that there are exceptions to the rule. Everyone can make a mistake. Everyone faces situations of desperation and crisis that makes them make bad decisions. These are not hardened criminals that are out to cause chaos and discontent. But given time in an prison cell, it won’t take long…

So what do we do when someone comes out and tries again? Well, as society we hound them down. Either as a community we demand to know who’s living in our midst. Rightly or wrongly so, we want to know who our neighbours are. The business community are no less unforgiving. Put in a job application declaring that you have a previous conviction and see how far you get. Rehabilitated or not, you’re on the not wanted list.

So does that mean that ex cons have to live a life full of lies to survive in the real world after their sentence. Of course. Would you walk around like a Jew in World War II Nazi Germany with a star of David emblazoned on your sleeve to shout to the world who you are? Today we read stories of men and women that risked life and death to avoid wearing those stars and think of them as hero’s! Are ex con’s any different?

Maybe not hero’s yes I’ll agree, but human beings who made a mistake and now want to get on with life and put their past behind them. I truly believe that this type of person deserves a chance. But how do we tell the one from the other. How do we know when someone coming out of the prison system is being genuine that he does not want to reoffend or is bluffing his way out to the freedom of relocation or changing of your identity. I don’t know the answer to these questions I have to be honest. I for one was challenged by the movie to re-examine how I feel about people, be they saints or sinners. I am not perfect, and so have little place to be looking down on anyone.

I understand both sides of this argument, and am perplexed as to the solution. But society is somewhat set the way it is, and I for one don’t believe that any ex convict will get a fair deal, no matter what the circumstances, no matter where they end up. Maybe it is some justice that in the end it is as difficult for them as it is for us.

Please, let me know your thoughts. I’d really like to get your perspective on the issues raised in this blog. Thanks.

The Axe of Austerity Falls

So Wednesday the 20^th day of October in the year 2010, or 20-10-2010 in simple numbers was the day that the axe of Austerity swung on the British Economy and literally chopped every limb from our able bodied national existence.

Yes, it don’t really matter who you are, or who you work for, if you live, work or learn in the UK then you can pretty much guarantee that the next four years will suck big time. Hell its something we’ve all known has been coming since the election that saw Labour’s landslide victory of 1997 when the man I personally hold responsible for this calamity came marching into power with a quirky smile, a silver spoon in his gob and a wet handshake for every willing wimp to shake, be trashed on the side walk as a nation went to the polls not quite sure who the hell to choose.

Well here we have it folks, and it’s of our own making that we are in the boat we find ourselves in, so its no use complaining. When the British public had a chance to democratically put its foot down and demand more from its politicians, they simple sat back and got confused. Yes admittedly even I found myself in a quandary over who to choose, but in such times, a choice must be made and the consequences of those choices accepted.

For many selfish reasons, people close to me supported Labour and Gordon Brown in his fool hardy attempt to run for office once more. Truth be told for many of those, the support of Gordon Brown was folly as they believed that Labour would go easy on Zimbabwean Immigrants, and put a stop on deportations. How misguided that assumption must now look as we see the truth of how deeply Labour and its two chief goons lead us up the garden path.

Let’s be completely frank with each other. Tony Blair and Gordon Brown did not have the average man in the forefront of their minds as they spent for the sake of spending. Even towards the end of the game, when the truth was coming out from the leaking holes in the government infrastructure, Gordon Brown still remained steadfastly stuck on his spending mantra. As a result of this irresponsibility and complete lack of leadership, we now face one of the toughest periods in living memory in the UK.

This is not something that we face alone. The whole developed world has had to look long and hard at itself, and come to the realisation that greed and wilful neglect of duty do not make up for reality. You cannot borrow yourself out of debt. Japan tried that one and nearly failed on numerous occasions. Gordon Brown lead the nation to believe that our economy could recover enough to pay off the debt that he’d amassed in his quantative easing measures designed to stabilise the economy from sinking further into recession. Of all the billions of tax payers pounds that were sunk into the banking sector to stimulate lending and ease the intra bank lending rates, what benefit did the economy or any small business see?

It is common knowledge that industry in the UK is a dying art. The bulk of our economy revolves around service industries, call centres, banking and white collar trade models. We don’t have any world renowned steel mills anymore. Our automotive industry belongs to any other country but Britain. Our ability to build ships, undertake construction or even provide the very service structure our economy thrives on is slowly ebbed from our shores. Just about all forms of heavy industry is undertaken abroad. Call centre and service support industries have farmed out to developing nations where work forces do the job at half the cost. As more and more centres of excellence like Dubai in the UAE and Energy City in Qatar become more appealing as they gear up to become the banking Mecca’s as we move into the second decade of the twenty first century. Don’t tell me for a moment that companies the size of Barclays Bank or HSBC won’t think twice about relocation if suddenly faced with the prospect of massive levies applied by the British Government.

In every way we possibly can we have made it near impossible for our economy to rise up from the ashes of this devastating blow and recover itself. How then could we have possibly paid our way out of recession as Gordon Brown assured us we would? No people, the reality of it was simple. Gordon had realised that he’d never be re-elected to office in the UK. The reality was that Gordon had seen the light at the end of the tunnel was being extinguished by debt, and yet failing to have a spin and lead our proud nation as a man, he failed to call time on Labour’s folly, and instead pulled the plug, spending everything he could just to make sure that who ever took over would look even worse than he.

My anger is not aimed at the Coalition who has had to face a disaster and try to remain positive. No, I do not despise David Cameron for his government’s wide stretching raft of austerity measures. That feeling I harbour only towards the evil men that went before him. I can only hope that for every old person that dies a lonely, hungry, miserable death as a result of these cuts will play on the mind of our esteemed Tony Blair and Gordon Brown and they ponder the folly of their time in office. I can only pray that the blood of all the victims of the crime wave to come will drip loudly in their ears at night as they fight for sleep. I can only hope that the starving child, beaten and abused at the hands of parents driven to depression beyond their abilities will remain vivid in their minds eye each time they pause for thought.

Yes it is at your feet that responsibility lies. No, not completely, as it takes many men to create such mayhem and chaos in modern society. But it was on your watch that the wolf played havoc in the chicken run, and it is time for men to be men and stand up for their lack of leadership, it is time for men to be men and accept the burden of guilt, aye it is time for men to be men and prove that there are still fine gentlemen among us.

My heart cries out for every single genuine person, man, woman and child who’s life is going to be made hell over the next ten years as a result of these measures. I do honestly believe that our government have been bold and brave. Would any one of you liked to have won an election knowing you were going to become the most unpopular government in the last 70 years of British history at no fault of your own? Would any one of you have wanted to walk into government and take over knowing that Gordon Brown was your predecessor and having an inkling of what exactly was to come as you began to get to grips with the shambles you’d been left? Do any of us truly believe that anyone else could have or would have done the job any differently? Let’s be real people. Before today we were living every day in the UK to pay £120 million in interest to service our debt. What else could our government do?

In all honesty as I listen to economists from around the world, every major power is going to have to face a day like today. The US is servicing a debt of several Trillion dollars. Austerity will fall on the shoulders of every American in just the way today it did for British folk. Four years of pain and six years of recovery are far better than ten years of uncertainty and potential bankruptcy.

If you’ve read this and you’re a rich person, or somewhat well off in society, my only message or calling to you is to each day as you survive the effects of the cuts announced today, remember those below you struggling to make ends meet. We are all affected by these measures, others more so than others, and if we are to survive then many of us will never to lend a helping hand to those in desperate need. This is the measure of a true community. This is the mark of a real society, and these are the actions of real people.

Two Choices – A Quandry of Life

I received this message in the form of an email this afternoon, and as I read it, it brought a tear to my eye. Its a strong message, a powerful theme and a dynamic quandy of mankind.

What would you do?….you make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?’

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first!

Run to first!’

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third!

Shay, run to third!’

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the ‘natural order of things.’

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Pass by and forget you’ve ever read this; or

2. Direct your friends to this page so they too may read and be touched.

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Tollerance – A farce of Humanity.

I often ask myself if as human beings we really can live life without being prejudicial. It would seem impossible to be honest with myself and say that I am not prejudicial towards certain classes of people, or certain cultures for that matter. Does that make me a bad person just because I am honest enough to admit that I struggle with being prejudicial even though I know it is wrong? I think if I was able to force everyone to be honest with themselves for a moment, and then honest enough to be able to confess, that I’d find I am not alone.

We are told that we live in one of the most multi cultural accepting and tolerant countries in the modern world. I often wonder whether the spin doctors that come up with this shit have ever left Downing Street and the inner sanctum of Greater London. I wonder if a visit to the colonies would wake them up to the fact that right here within this wonderful home we call Great Britain it is difficult to find a Welshman, Scott or Irish person that does not hate the English. I wonder if they’ve ever realised that the English are frequently subject of discussions about how intolerant they really are. It is even subject of comedy as the likes of Dara O’briain and Rhod Gilbert make fun of the bitter rivalry between the nations of the Union Jack.

The biggest double standard comes from our oh so very political correct establishment in Whitehall. For if we are to follow the instruction of the government and community leaders, who preach tolerance and acceptance on the widest scale, then why is it that when it comes to accepting Neo Nazism, Communism, the fascists, Klansman or any form of extremist they are subject to immediate exclusion, ridicule and fall subject to persecution based on prejudice. Admittedly many of these groups are founded on the principal of intolerance or hate in the first place, and there is a social angle at the root of the treatment they receive. However my point is that if we expect these people to be tolerant and to lay aside their prejudices then shouldn’t we be leading by example. Double standards and hypocrisy are not the way to win a war of words.
When we examine history, especially the subject of religion we are faced with what I believe is the starting blocks of most prejudices. Islam will in no way at all accept that Christianity is a parallel religion, and Christians won’t accept that people are capable of making their own choice. Hindu’s will not for one moment agree that the Buddhists, Sikhs or Jainist’s are acceptable religions within their own sphere of influence. Then you have the pagans who won’t accept witchcraft, and Muslims that won’t accept Judaism. Within the walls of religion there is the greatest forms of prejudices and intolerance that society can point too, yet it is something that as society we are far too scared to even begin to debate or seek for a common ground that could lead to a peace accord.

On a personal level I find that I struggle with prejudice. If there is one thing that I have come to find intolerable it’s the whole class system that is so evident in modern society, especially evident here in Britain. I know and perfectly understand that it is an entrenched part of British culture, yet I find it so demeaning and irritating. The fact that a whole class of people look down their noses at people who are perfectly within their right to be where they are, doing what they are doing, and living the life they choose really makes me angry. In many ways, the so called upper class are infact a bunch of hypocritical, lazy, uncouth individuals who take their place in society to mean that they are entitled to be treated special. And we as the working or so called lower class seem happily to allow them to do so. It is a system that I fail to understand, and one that I defiantly seek not to become a part of.

Class systems exist all over the world, and you will always find the privileged at the head of the snake taking advantage of a hard working middle class and turning up their noses at the poor lower class. This through history again can be a pointer at a cause of prejudice. Class systems have certainly been at the root of racism. I know that through my experiences growing up in an African country where in many situations the white colonialists and indeed many people that chose to continue to settle in Africa after colonialism, looked upon the indigenous population as an intolerable mass to be segregated and kept out of society. This is unacceptable in any modern standard, and society pays the price for this intolerance even today. It will take many generations to forget the hurt of colonialism, even though it has a fact of history gone and unchangeable. The sad fact is that this class system which kept a majority in poverty for so long has caused one of the biggest issues of modern society. Racism in so many circumstances has become a trump card that a minority can now play over a majority anywhere around the world. For many years the world did not wake up to racism, did not see its effect on a marginalised people, and by the time it found itself ready to deal with the cause and effect, the flames of hatred had taken hold and raged in a insurmountable bush fire. The lessons that we should draw from this struggle should be learnt today before we have a total role reversal and reverse racism is allowed to destroy another whole millennium of potential here on earth.

Woman have for so long fought for their rights as human beings, that we can look back at another classic form of prejudice and the track it has followed. Any woman who reads this paragraph might find it irritating, and if you do I welcome your thoughts, but I write this thinking of a portion of the population that I see every weekend, and compare that in my mind to my life back in Africa. It is a funny thing to me that woman have struggled so long to become equal in recognition yet are the first to expect a traditional role in terms of dating and relationships. Of course this is not always the case, and there are woman out there today that seem to be perfectly happy to be the one to take the lead in the courting process. For the most part I don’t deny that woman should be given their rightful place in society. They are certainly not slaves of men nor should they be treated badly by testosterone fuelled bullies that prey on vulnerable women. However, if a woman wishes to be treated as the farer sex then in my opinion they should learn to be the farer sex. There is nothing attractive about a woman on an imaginary testosterone high. Having worked the night club industry for so long I have watched how modern woman have changed, and I miss my humble Africa where a woman was a thing of beauty to be admired and courted and charmed and respected and loved. How can you feel those things for woman who flaunt themselves as mutton dressed as lamb, drink copious amounts of alcohol, smoke, fight, use language that a trooper would blush at, crawl home along the pavement unable to walk after an alcohol fuelled night out, with little regard for their appearance, behaviour or safety. “How do you respect that?” I wonder to myself night after night as I leave the club and drive home watching this sad story play out. How are you able to not form a prejudice towards that kind of person, jump to conclusions about any woman that you might meet, wondering in the back of your mind if that is what they are going to turn out to be like. The most amazing thing to me is that it is not just the teens and twenty something’s that do it. I have happened to work for some classy establishments in my time and find that even mature, respectable woman seem to find it acceptable to carry on in this way. If that is woman’s lib then frankly you can stick it.

So I come back to my original thought. How on earth are we meant to live a life without prejudice? In this wonderfully PC world of ours, we are meant to teach the generation of tomorrow about acceptance and tolerance and learning to live side by side. Yet we carry out our daily lives showing our intolerance in our actions. Not only does this make it uncomfortable for the people around whom you display your prejudice, but children learn more from actions than they do from words. Take for example a gay person. Imagine a child growing up and realising as it does that its gay. First of all its probably learnt through its own experience in its family that gay is a totally uncool thing. So not only does the child have to go through the realisation that, “hell I have gay feelings!” but it also has to go through the mental trauma of trying to figure out how it is going to tell society that its gay. This is just one example of how we make it difficult right within our own homes to live without prejudice. Personally I don’t believe that we are ever going to be this wonderfully accepting race that we dream of being. Maybe in realising this fact and becoming more tolerant of ourselves as humble human beings with faults and imperfections then we might begin to make some sort of progress in learning to accept each other.