What defines Love?

There is one thing in each of our lives that affects us in some fashion regardless of how we might try to avoid it, fail to understand it, or seek to find it.

It can be illusive, it can be mystifying, it can be frustrating, it can creep up on you unexpected. It amazes us, it brings us great happiness and unbearable heart ache. This wonderful, powerful, thing is not a person, it’s not physical, it’s certainly not something you’ll see or meet, yet it lives in each of us, can be very physically expressed, and you see it on peoples faces every day and meet it every time you find two people in love.

Love. Only four letters. Such a simple word, but one of the most complex emotions know to man. It is something we all crave, something we need, a feeling we require almost as much as we need food or water to live.

Yet as much as we need it, it is not something common to find. It is something we mistake too easily, a feeling we share too freely, an emotion we abuse, take for granted and lose far too much. It’s something that when we have it we are blissfully happily, and when we find ourselves without it experience feelings of loneliness that makes life quite unbearable.

What is it about love that makes it such a domineering emotion for mankind? Why do we need it so?

I think if we were all to list our personal reason for its importance in our lives, it would be interesting to see the different levels that love impacts our lives on every level. I also think that we’d do well to see the variety of reasons that we present for its importance as part of the reason for its complexity. You see, everyone views love through different eyes. We all have different expectations, our needs, insecurities, dependencies, curios traits, funny habits and a whole list of other factors of each persons personality that makes love one of the biggest things of our lives.

Some would say that you only have one shot at true love. Others would argue that you can find love anywhere if you look hard enough. I believe that a lot of people hide behind the word for a variety of selfish reasons. Some will tell you that real love arrives when you find your soul mate, and yet more would try convince you that love is all about learning to love.

But what is it about love? I mean come on…. What is all the fuss about?

The truth? We are not designed to survive without it. A human man, a woman, a child…. We cannot survive without love.

As a child we learn love through the expression of those around us. Mainly from our parents, but in some cases from others that show us time, care about us, and makes us feel warm, safe and special. We learn to feel comfortable in love. It brings us happiness, acceptance, safety, companionship and possibly most importantly gives us a sense of identity. Knowing someone cares that much for us kindles a fire within us. It’s these feelings that drive us. We all want to feel them at every level of our lives, especially from our peers, from our friends, from the people we like, the people we choose to spend time with. Without these feelings where would we be?

Love can be expressed in many ways, but which ever way we receive it, there is something about it that is special for each one of us, and these are the feelings we crave the most. So next time your thinking about love, just stop and ask yourself what it is that makes love special for you. I think you’ll find it’s not an easy question to answer, but taking a moment to try understand it gives us a completely new appreciation for it.

Thought for today – “You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel.” – Johnny Depp

Song for today – Caribbean Blue by Enya

Advertisements

Wish I was a Rockstar

I’m through with standin’ in lines to clubs I’ll never get in;
It’s like the bottom of the ninth and I’m never gonna win;
This life hasn’t turned out;
Quite the way I want it to be!

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub
Big enough for ten plus me

(Yeah, so what you need?)

I need a a credit card that’s got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher
And James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair
And change my name

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses, drivin’ fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat

And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free

(I’ll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)

I’m gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves
To blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair
And change my name

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses, drivin’ fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat

And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial

Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I’m gonna sing those songs that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writin’ all my songs
Lipsynk ’em every night so I don’t get ’em wrong

Well, we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses, drivin’ fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat

And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial

Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I really love the words to this song. Nickleback hit the nail on the head when they took the lyrics and made it into a modern, trendy and ultra popular song, that’s been used on everything from advertising furniture, to educating children, but how often do you stop to consider that the words of this song are spot on to what most of our youth crave for in todays world?

The writers got it 100% correct when they said that its now a life style to be lazy, live a life of luxury doing as little as possible, and having a whole lot to splash around on the broad walks of Miami and New York. I speak to dozens of young people who are chasing the dream of fame, and the lifestyle that goes with it. When you ask them how they plan to get there, its always the same answer.

This years X Factor is a perfect example of the delusional reality that so many of our youth live under. If the figures we are told are anything to believe, some 200 thousand people audition for the X Factor each year, some of them I’m sure the judges shudder to consider seeing year in year out. It always amazes me how many people honestly believe that they have a chance at making it to a life of fame and fortune. But when you watch normal ordinary people come from ordinary lifestyles and become overnight stars, is it any wonder that we have a whole multitude of generations coveting their place in the lime light?

Its sad when you speak to a young boy or girl today, and ask them the age old question of “What are you going to be when you grow up?”, only to hear them say, “I want to be like Beyonce or Michael Jackson!” I shudder to think that my child may one day come home and tell me something similar. What happened to admiring the real jobs in society that make our lives meaningful and are far more realistic. For most boys when I was growing up, the dream was to learn to be a pilot, followed closely by some sort of role in one of the armed forces. Those were the jobs that appeared cool, respectable and sort after. But sadly today we just want to earn fame and fortunes as fast as possible in anyway we can.

Pride in learning a talent and becoming respected for being good at it is a thing of the past and I for one am saddened when I think of how much the world has changed and how little we have to look forward to as we grow up and mature into our golden years today. Ambition and desire are not what they once used to be. Cherish the lessons of the elder generation and cling to the ways of the old, as they were not completely wrong nor were they as out of touch with reality as we may once have believed. As I’ve grown older, I treasure the lessons I was taught by my parents. Its a good thing to learn to be well grounded and in touch with reality. If there is one thing that I can say to anyone reading this and thinking to themselves it’d be this. Take the time to dream, but live the reality and cherish the time you are given and make the most of it, for you can’t take it back, and its too late when you wake up one day and realised you were living with your head in the clouds.

Only 7% of our World Understand These Things

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20.. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you..
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”.
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business..
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do..
34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
40.. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

It’s amazing to me how sometimes in life we must be reminded over and over again of the important things that make our lives worth living. Though I have no idea who this old lady is, I am grateful to her for having taken time to put pen to paper with some really profound thoughts about life, and I read this often as it is important to be reminded about how important the simple things are in our life. I hope you can draw as much from these words as I do.